In the blink of an eye, everything can change…your house could go up in flames and all your earthly possessions be gone except for what you have on your back, or a loved one could pass away. At this point nothing will ever be the same in your life. Everything that you had or hoped would/could happen in your future changes. Granted you can replace furniture and a house, but not those precious personal things like childhood mementoes and those from the rest of your life.
When a loved one passes away, especially suddenly, those same thoughts occur. All of the things that they won’t get to do or do again. When my dad passed away the first thing I thought of from that list was that I’d never hear his voice again… and the list kept growing. A few years later and the things from that list are the larger milestones in life. He didn’t get to see me graduate college, he won’t get to walk me down the aisle and give me away in a few weeks, he won’t get to hold any grandchildren… and the list will grow I’m sure.
I still struggle with the fact that how I always imagined things won’t be the way they happen… but it has gotten easier as I start to let go and enjoy the memories I do have of him. All of the piano recitals, plays, band and orchestra concerts, soccer and softball games, and the trips we took are my “new future”. Holding on to these memories helps to ease the moments of pain and sorrow at the fact that he is no longer here.