Dear Younger Me

I heard this song, “Dear Younger Me” by Mercy Me on the radio while I was on my way to work this morning and I don’t know why but I actually really paid attention to the lyrics and continued to think about them throughout the day and how they truly applied to my life. Many times I have wondered what would have happened if I had made different choices in my life. There are definitely some things that I wish I never would have had to experienced in my 29 years on this Earth… and I have wished plenty times since those events have occurred that they hadn’t.

Then I heard these two separate lyrics in the song and it all made sense… “And try to change, The choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me” and “Dear younger me, It’s not your fault, You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross”. Every time I have made those wishes about those events, I always end up circling back and being able to state what wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gone through that. Most of the time I can find that “thing” that would be different in my life and I know that everything had to play out that way to have the outcome that it did. For those moments of pain that I have yet to understand the “why” behind it… the verse about not carrying it beyond the cross explains (at least to me) that maybe I never will and I have to be OK  and accept that I might never be able to find that “thing“.

One of the biggest flaws I have recognized in myself is the lack of trust in people that haven’t proven it. That has been one of my BIGGEST struggles in my faith journey. So the above statement about being able to accept (which to me means trust there is a bigger purpose) is so extremely hard for me to do. Another flaw of mine is not being able to forget. A lot of people say, “I forgive, but I don’t forget”. To me, forgiveness should mean that you forget, or else you’ll always wonder if that person may fail you again or hurt you in some way. If you trust them enough to still have them in your life, shouldn’t you be able to forget the pain or hurt that they caused you?

I brought that up because some of those events I have blamed God for allowing them to happen and angry at Him for the outcome and/or the pain I felt because of it. As time has passed, it’s easier to let go of some of that blame, hurt, and anger; but I haven’t forgotten. So when something happens or doesn’t happen… it is so very easy to look back at those past events and that trust starts to falter and with anything if you look too hard or too long that trust starts to crumble.  So now when that happens… I’m going to listen to this song, and really pay attention to the lyrics and feel them in my heart… especially this part:

 

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

Every mountain every valley
Thru each heartache you will see
Every moment brings you closer
To who you were meant to be

Here is the lyric video in case you are unfamiliar with the song:

And here are the lyrics in their entirety if you’d rather just read them:

Dear Younger Me

Dear younger me
Where do I start
If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far
Then you could be
One step ahead
Of all the painful memories still running thru my head
I wonder how much different things would be
Dear younger me,

Dear younger me
I cannot decide
Do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life
Or do I go deep
And try to change
The choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me
Even though I love this crazy life
Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride
Dear younger me, dear younger me

If I knew then what I know now
Condemnation would’ve had no power
My joy my pain would’ve never been my worth
If I knew then what I know now
Would’ve not been hard to figure out
What I would’ve changed if I had heard

Dear younger me
It’s not your fault
You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross
Dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

Every mountain every valley
Thru each heartache you will see
Every moment brings you closer
To who you were meant to be
Dear younger me, dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

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